Tears At The Altar

I wrote "Tears at the Altar" because the silence was suffocating me, and my voice was missing from the conversations about grief. 

There are certain stories that demand to be told. They are not satisfied with being whispered, scribbled into private journals, or diluted for someone else’s comfort. This book is one of those stories. It was born from a collision of love, loss, and lament in a sacred space that should have held me - and didn’t.

Tears at the Altar is not just about my personal grief; it is a public reckoning. It’s a confrontation with how the church - our supposed refuge - often fails those who bleed in the pews and behind the pulpit. It explores how we, as communities of faith, avoid what is raw and messy, how we offer platitudes instead of presence, and how we bypass lament instead of allowing it to become part of our worship expression.

Yes, I name names - grief, betrayal, silence, shame - and I hold them in the light of Scripture. From Job to Jesus, I make it plain that grief is not weakness. Grief is testimony, theology, and sacred resistance.

This book is for every parent who has buried a child and been told to “move on,” every pastor expected to preach through their own heartbreak, every person who needed the church to be sanctuary and found it didn't know how to be.

I write as a pastor. I write as a Black Caribbean immigrant woman. I write as a mother whose tears baptized every page. And I write as someone who still believes in the transformative possibility of the church - if we dare to face our collective wounds.

"Tears at the Altar" is not about wallowing in despair. It’s about reclaiming lament as holy and making space at the altar for the brokenhearted. God is not threatened by your tears, or questions. Neither am I.

You are not alone.

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